EOC week 10 Lawyer Jokes

Lawyer jokes http://www.iciclesoftware.com/LawJokes/IcicleLawJokes.html

Q & A form jokes

Q: What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

A: The caterer.

Q: What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

A: Lipstick.

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?

A: Your Honor.

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

A: Senator.

Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

A: Accountants know they're boring.

Q: What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A: A jury.

Q: Why did God invent lawyers?

A: So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.

Q: What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

A: The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.

Q: What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A: A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.

Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A: A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.

Q: What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

A: One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

A: You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

A: After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

A: God doesn't think he's a lawyer.

Q: How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

A: They both look good hanging from a tree.

Q: How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

A: She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.

Q: How does an attorney sleep?

A: First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.

Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?

A: Only three. The rest are true stories.

Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.

Q: What are lawyers good for?

A: They make used car salesmen look good.

Q: What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

A: They're both extinct.

Q: What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

A: Not enough cement.

Q: What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

A: Skeet.

Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

A: Senator.